Internet Goosing the Antithesis

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Atheist Weddings For Cheap

That's right! I, Aaron Kinney, atheist and anarchist, have just become an ordained minister at the Universal Life Church.

Ordination is free, and getting licensed to conduct weddings is only $5. You can even get a doctorate of divinity for only $29.99!

If you are like me, and you don't dig that dogmatic religious stuff, you'll be pleased to know that this church is so open-minded that its almost impossible to have a worldview that conflicts with their church tenets.

Universal Life Church tenets:

To promote freedom of religion
To do that which is right

It's hard to go wrong on those tenets, no?

So, if you are in the need of a secular minister to officiate at your wedding, let me know! I'll beat anyone's price (I'm doing this for fun, not profit), and I will conduct your wedding respectfully and in the exact way that you want it. I am very accommodating to your needs. I am also an exceptional public speaker in style, delivery, and content. Contact me if you are interested, or just want to know more.

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At 7/31/2007 10:28 AM, Blogger Zachary Moore declaimed...

...and for those of you in the great state of Texas (or Ohio), I've laid out my officiant shingle as well.

At 7/31/2007 5:50 PM, Blogger Aaron Kinney declaimed...

Awesome! We've got like half of the US covered now :)

At 4/02/2014 11:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous declaimed...

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At 4/02/2014 11:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous declaimed...

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At 4/10/2015 2:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous declaimed...

Universal One Church, Inc.
803 Tallahassee Street
Carrabelle, FL. 32322-3220 USA
Phone: (850)720-1061

Hours: 8:30 - 5:30 EST After Hours: Please Leave a Message

Visit Our Website at:

Mission Statement:

"The Universal One Church defends the unborn, feeds the hungry, shelters the homeless, educates the young, welcomes refugees, and cares for the sick, both at home and abroad. They believe the Bible is the verbally inspired, inerrant Word of God."


"A vocation is a fruit that ripens in a well cultivated field of mutual love that becomes mutual service, in the context of an authentic ecclesial life. No vocation is born of itself or lives for itself. A vocation flows from the heart of God and blossoms in the good soil of faithful people, in the experience of fraternal love. We are designed with a dreaming brain and a hopeful spirit; it is our nature to envision the life of our dreams. And while dreaming comes easy to us, we must never forget that it takes strength, dedication, and courageous action to bring that dream to life."

Do you wish to pursue a vocation in ministry - become a minister, get ordained or serve as a wedding officiant? We provide ordination to men and women enabling work in all facets of Christian Ministry with ministers in the USA, Canada, UK, Africa, South America, Germany, India, France, Switzerland, Thailand, Japan, Australia, China, Mexico and many other countries throughout the world.


The Universal One Church as the name implies is a worldwide Religious Non-Profit Organization, extending its reach to the every corner of the globe. The Universal One Church offers weekly Sunday Services, Bible Study and faith based programming on the Universal One Church Radio Network and through iHeartRadio. Note: Any transmission hereof of any kind without the express written permission of the Universal One Church is strictly prohibited.

At 4/10/2015 2:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous declaimed...

Universal One Church Ordination


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