Internet Goosing the Antithesis

Monday, June 25, 2007

Kent Hovind losing his mind in jail...

Kent Hovind, stuffed in rape cells (a more accurate term for "jail") on January 19th for the "crime" of tax evasion, is now apparently going batshit insane. He is posting an email conversation between himself and god. Some extracts:

KH: Lord, I asked you to let me sleep, because I knew the next day would be hard and I would need my strength. Why didn’t you let me sleep, Lord?

GOD: I did, son. You slept great from 3:00 - 4:45 a.m. Who do you think it was that made the guard forget to call you at 3:30? Didn’t you wake up refreshed at 4:45 and even comment on how hard you slept and how good you felt?

GOD: Quit griping, son. I know what I’m doing.

KH: I’ll work on that, Lord.

KH: No, Lord. But you opened the prison for Peter (Acts 12), for Paul (Acts 5:19), and for Joseph (Genesis 41), and even the grave for some people (John 11). I was just wondering if you loved them more than me or something, or maybe I had some sin you were punishing me for.

GOD: I love you more than your little brain could ever comprehend. You do have plenty of sin—though that’s not why you are there. We will keep working on that sin list regardless of where you are.

KH: Thanks, Lord. Please do keep working on me.

KH: But, Lord, five hundred miles away?

GOD: You are still in America, son. Would you prefer…Siberia?

KH: Oh, no, South Carolina is just fine! Hey, Lord, why did you let me slip on those steps in Atlanta and bruise my ankle so badly?

GOD: I needed you to see the new prison doctor that just came from India. He knows almost nothing about Me, son. I know you didn’t have much time with him, but you did tell him about your Website. He will look at it and read the “How To Be Saved” article. That will start him on the road to salvation later this year.

I’m sorry about the bruise, but you can’t see the doctor in there unless you are hurt. Would you rather I break it next time—or bruise your head?

God sure works in mysterious ways. I'm not one to question the fucker, but I really think he should leave Kenny alone. Maybe we should put god in a rape cell for assault, given that he admits breaking Kenny's ankle. ;)

Post a Comment


At 6/25/2007 11:05 PM, Blogger Aaron Kinney declaimed...

Christ '08!

At 6/26/2007 8:40 AM, Blogger Butch declaimed...

Interesting. Is "the fucker" God or Hovind?

At 6/26/2007 12:48 PM, Blogger Zachary Moore declaimed...

Sounds like Hovind has become an enabling victim of his own spiritual abuse.

At 6/26/2007 1:31 PM, Blogger Francois Tremblay declaimed...

"The fucker" is god, of course. ;)

At 6/26/2007 3:36 PM, Blogger Butch declaimed...


At 6/26/2007 7:21 PM, Blogger Aaron Kinney declaimed...

Dont look now, but another infanticidal act in the name of God was committed by a Canadian WWE wrestler. Score one for Jesus!



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