We Pissed Off Chuck Norris...
...and now we're in serious trouble.
Chuck Norris is an internationally-known killing machine and born-again Christian who has just discovered the Blasphemy Challenge. As of this report, Brian Sapient and crew are fortifying their "bunker" with lead and concrete. This, of course, will not work.
Chuck advises all theistic patriots to "be wise to atheists' overt and covert schemes, exposing their agenda and fighting to lay waste to their plans."
To inform his readers of the correct plan of attack, Chuck details the Evil Atheist Conspiracy's™ 5-year plan (procured, no doubt, from the freshly slain corpse of one of our operatives). This includes:
- by causing a goof-up at the mint, resulting in "In God We Trust" being accidentally left off some new dollar coins.
- by joining the Freedom From Religion Foundation and ensuring that the first amendment to the U.S. Constitution is correctly applied.
- by discovering the existence of a nonbelieving Congressman.
- by forcing Congress to pass a hate-crime bill.
- by daring to raise them without religion.
- by offering a non-religious summer camp for freethinking kids.
- by providing an online forum to allow teenagers to question faith.
- by offering unholy Richard Dawkins link buttons for MySpace pages.
- by purchasing Richard Dawkins' "atheist bible."
- by allowing Sam Harris to write letters.
- by ignoring the science that proves God.