Toys, not Jesus, for Tots

The Marine Reserves Toys for Tots program recently rejected a donation of talking Jesus dolls. From CNN.com:

A Los Angeles company offered to donate 4,000 of the 1 foot-tall dolls, which quote Bible verses, for distribution to needy children this holiday season. The battery-powered Jesus is one of several dolls manufactured by one2believe, a division of the Valencia-based Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Co., based on biblical figures.

But the charity balked because of the dolls' religious nature.

Toys are donated to kids based on financial need and "we don't know anything about their background, their religious affiliations," said Bill Grein, vice president of Marine Toys for Tots Foundation, in Quantico, Virginia.

As a government entity, Marines "don't profess one religion over another," Grein said Tuesday. "We can't take a chance on sending a talking Jesus doll to a Jewish family or a Muslim family."

Smart thinking, for once, by a government agency.

However, Michael La Roe, a big cheese for the Jesus doll donating company, said that he was "surprised and disappointed" by the charity's decision.

Surprised and disappointed that the Jesus doll wasn't accepted? La Roe's lack of understanding of the matter leaves me similarly "surprised and disappointed."

La Roe continued:

"The idea was for them to be three-dimensional teaching tools for kids," La Roe said. "I believe as a churchgoing person, anyone can benefit from hearing the words of the Bible."

Oh, now it makes sense. La Roe is a Christoid! And he sees nothing wrong with indiscriminately distributing to children a God-doll that condemns people to Hell:

According to the company's Web site, the button-activated, bearded Jesus, dressed in hand-sewn cloth outfits and sandals, recites Scripture such as "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again" and "Love your neighbor as yourself."

In related news, the National Socialist Movement's attempt to donate soft-cover editions of Mein Kampf to the same Toys for Tots program was turned down. In response, an NSM spokesperson expressed surprise and disappointment, and said, "The idea was for these books to be two-dimensional teaching tools for kids. I believe as a member of America's Nazi Party that anyone can benefit from reading the words of Adolf Hitler."

In yet more related news, the Church of Satan's attempt to donate 4,000 talking dolls of Anton Szandor LaVey to the very same Toys for Tots program was turned down. The doll recites LaVey quotes such as "How could you set yourself up as the most powerful institution on earth? You first find out what every man feels at least once a day, establish that as a sin, and set yourself up as the only institution capable of pardoning that sin," and "It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful."

Unlike with the talking Jesus dolls and copies of Mein Kampf, the Toys for Tots rationale for rejecting the LaVey dolls was not immediately clear.