Internet Goosing the Antithesis

Thursday, November 02, 2006

God's Pumpkin Patch

I love getting these emails:

God's Pumpkin Pa†ch
Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes off all the dirt you may have gotten from other pumpkins. Then He cuts the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Last, He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see.

Only a Christian would analog his chosen lifestyle to that of a mutilated pumpkin. The violent implications are so plainly obvious that I have to question the sanity of the person who thinks that something like this is cute.

Here's how I see the analogy: First of all, the pumpkin gets cut from all the other dirty pumpkins, because apparently it's their fault that they're dirty. The Halloween Jack-O-Lantern is traditionally carved into a head, so from this we see that it's actually the the head that's cut open and has "all the yucky stuff" scooped out. The seeds of thought and reason are thrown away. Then an artificial smile is forcably etched to its face. A shell of its former self, it's then placed out for the world to see, with a light inside of it to shine the glory of the very person who cut it up in the first place!

Couldn't have come up with a better analogy myself!

Post a Comment


At 11/02/2006 6:58 PM, Blogger Boss Foxx declaimed...

I guess it's just the atheist in me that sees analogy #2 as being the more likely. :) Happy holidays, godless sodomites.

At 11/02/2006 7:46 PM, Blogger Zachary Moore declaimed...

I'm surprised nobody went for the most obvious comparison- that of a Christian being analogous to a head with everything inside removed.

At 11/02/2006 9:40 PM, Blogger Mr. Neil declaimed...

Well I did actually allude to that by using their own words of "scooping the yucky stuff out". The yucky stuff is, of course, the brains, the seeds of doubt, etc. etc.

The fact that the inside of the head is considered yucky and needs to be removed did not go unnoticed.



Create a Link

<< Home