Internet Goosing the Antithesis

Sunday, April 17, 2005

The One True Clock

Clockist : There is but One True Clock, and here it is.

Aclockist : Uh, that's nice, but all I see is a clock like any other. It's pretty high, I'll give you that. But first of all, its time is completely wrong. It says it's 13:25, but the time is really 18:56.

C : What are you talking about ? There is only One True Clock and therefore only One True Time, which is 13:25. It can't be 18:56.

A : Well, see, my wristwatch says 18:56, and the Sun is too low in the horizon for it to be 13:25. So your clock is definitely wrong.

C : That's preposterous ! How do you know your wristwatch is working correctly ?

A : There are plenty of wtristwatches in circulation of this brand and they are known to be very reliable...

C : HAH ! But how do you know YOURS isn't broke ? How do you know wristwatches are reliable at all ? Some say one time, some say another time, sometimes minutes apart, so how do we know which one to trust ? Obviously your wristwatch so-called "time" is subjective !

A : Now that doesn't mean that they're all broken, they could just be set imprecisely...

C : You can't trust wristwatches ! And as for the other point, how do you know how the Sun moves ? You still follow the outdated geocentric model of astronomy. It's obvious that Intelligent Movement is a superior model, because yours has fatal flaws. For instance, if gravity really works as your scientists say, how come all the planets don't just fall into the Sun ? It's ridiculous ! Everyone knows that there can't be more than 50 minutes in an hour anyway.

A : Are you questioning the scientific facts ?

C : There are plenty of scientists who agree with Intelligent Movement theory. Now look here, the One True Clock is in perfect accordance with all the facts.

A : How do you know that ?

C : Simple. Come with me to the other side.

A : Okay...

C : See ? The other side ALSO says 13:25.

A : Yes... ?

C : So it's correct. It confirms it.

A : All you've done is show me another result from the same clock. How do you know the clock itself is right ?

C : Because it says so right down there. Look at the sign. "This clock is infallible."

A : But you still only got that from the clock. The clock says it is infallible. So what ? You still haven't proven anything. If the clock is wrong, then it doesn't matter if it tells you it's right or not - that's just circular. I can just as easily build my own clock that says it is infallible. Fact is, neither of them would be based on the facts. Only my wristwatch is based on the facts.

C : You aclockists just don't understand that without the One True Clock, you can't have proper time. You're rebelling against the absolute temporal authority of the One True Clock. Soon everyone will follow the Clock and you and your pretty scientists will be proven wrong. You'll see !

A : Good grief.

Post a Comment


At 4/17/2005 9:57 PM, Blogger Zachary Moore declaimed...

I love when a good analogy comes together. Marvelous.

At 4/18/2005 11:16 AM, Blogger Aaron Kinney declaimed...

I said it before and I'll say it again:

I love analogies.

At 4/18/2005 1:20 PM, Blogger Not Reformed declaimed...

Its about "time" somebody pointed this out.

sorry..bad pun...

Great illustration!



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